I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize