she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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