the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
