i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
