kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
