you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize