You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
