they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
