goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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