Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
