The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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