how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
