i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
