i really wish james franco would like my vagina
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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