The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize