We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
