We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
