He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
