She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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