Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
