Rock
Scissors
Fuck
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
