Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
