Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
