Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
