Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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