I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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