I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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