somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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