It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
