WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
