your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
