I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
