So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
