There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
