I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
