i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
