Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
