Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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