i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
