I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
