used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
