All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
