I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
