I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
