I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
