i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
