last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
