I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
