Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

Fav 16 1178 5016
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(310): View more from California

I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

Fav 20 5244 1026
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

Fav 49 6621 1992
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(210): View more from Texas

i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue

Fav 5 4774 1243
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.

Fav 34 6536 2040
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(712): View more from Iowa

I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.

Fav 8 1170 2966
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(360): View more from Washington

It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

Fav 5 2471 931
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(416): View more from Toronto

well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself

Fav 4 881 523
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(408): View more from California

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

(479): View more from Arkansas

MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT

Fav 2 484 192
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