I CAN MOONWALK!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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