She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
pray to the hookup gods
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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