seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
