Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
