He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
