Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
