So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
