once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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