just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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