Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
