Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
4 words: hood of his car
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize